To Produce a Mechanical Human (according to Paracelcus the Great, 1493-1541)

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1. Take some human sperm.
2. Enclose in a hermetically sealed jar.
3. Bury in horse manure for 40 days
4. When dug up it will resemble a transparent human.
5. Feed with human blood until 40 weeks.  It will survive on its own after that.

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